rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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