You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize