Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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