Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
