I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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