I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
