If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
