Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate

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(559): View more from California

Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs

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(912): View more from Georgia

an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'

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(775): View more from Nevada

At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.

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(254): View more from Texas

Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table

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(801): View more from Utah

He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.

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(305): View more from Florida

Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.

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(303): View more from Colorado

1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.

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