I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
