why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
