So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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