Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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