maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
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