Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
be right there i have to get my cape
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
