I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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