I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
