I cockslap morals
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize