moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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