are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
