I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
