these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
