Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
