somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
