Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
