what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You ruined the universe
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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