i think my mom watched the whole time
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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