last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just high enough for therapy.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize