it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
