Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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