go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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