my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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