he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
