Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
