he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
