Please, let me fuck your mom
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize