I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
