I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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