it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
