he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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