He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
