Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
