love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
