Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
