Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You're like the curious george of whores
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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