I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Drake has all the answers
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
