I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize