I'm lost and stupid without you.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize