I am full of burrito and curiosity
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize