So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize