We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
