Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
