I want to stick my p in your. b.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
