So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I checked into jail on foursquare
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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