just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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