You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
