some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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