Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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