hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize