dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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