I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
