That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
