apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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