you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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