yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
