I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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