dude i'm inner monologue high
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
