sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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